I use a color-coded excel file to track and plan my workouts. It lets me quickly, visually see if I'm sticking to my plan, slacking off, working hard, etc. But I've never bothered to total up any of these stats UNTIL THIS WEEKEND.
I know Nat will see this as a direct continuation of my early dorkiness plotting stuffed animal trajectories in my ceiling fan. But here you have it:
Of the last 848 days (a little over 2 years) in my current file -- (my old file of prior years was in the laptop that got jacked from a car in Portland)"
58 days (6.8% of my days) had a tournament
65 days (7.7% of my days) had travel
163 days (19.2% of my days) was a rest day (this includes sickdays and work conflicts, I havent calculated that separately)
562 days (66.3% of my day) had a workout
Monday, January 30, 2012
from Dad, re. Australian Open
"I just watched the final set of the open. Both guys left nothing ... I thought both were going to fall over at the awards cermony.
I plan to watch the total match.
a great example of skill, determination and sportsmanship"
Thursday, January 26, 2012
get amped
I had a long conversation with Christian after practice yesterday; I think he has good insights both because he is a friend/nice guy who has known me for many years, but also because he is doing some coaching now, and has given some thought to performance. I talked with him about my frustrations with the season so far and also what lies ahead…. Partially it was nice to just vent, but we got beyond that and I learned some real lessons.
First, he is unwaveringly positive and happy, I wish I could bottle some of that up and keep it with me! We talked about my fencing and he described me as one of the top 5 fencers in the country and probably the #2 competitor (I won’t name who he said is first!). He said that when I’m really on, and confident and tough, and believing in myself no one can beat me.
Second, a good thing that Christian pointed out to me, and which should be obvious but wasn’t: is that I already have all the tools and ability to make good results because I’ve done it before. I haven’t forgotten anything, I’m physically strong and fast. Only thing missing is the mental aspect, the confidence, and the ability to stay in the moment one touch at a time. Okay, so maybe the power of positive thinking feels a little fake-y to me, but I think more of the KILLER instinct I can try to harness. La rage: but not an emotional/personal kind. Just a good blooded/ruthless kind of vibe. I still stand by 212 as my anthem for this.
Third, he drew my attention to more of the SPORTS side of it (confidence, swagger, touch, feel, trusting in abilities) – I think I’ve been getting lost in the GAME (too much tactic, too much strategy, too much video review). I think I might be actually having a case of too much effort, overthinking it, forcing it, something that a lot of sportswriters talk about, but that is hard to put a finger on. I think it relates to the whole self 1 /self 2….like too much verbal chatter about FIXING things (point first, hand/foot timing, foot tempo, action selection etc etc) and not enough kinesthetic/physical just letting it flow. Right now I have thought myself into a rut. So I need to FEEL or WILL or AMP myself out of it.
This last point was made clear to me earlier in the night when I did three3 5s with someone at practice, and on the 2nd bout, I tried to be REALLY selective, really careful, and only go for the definite single touches – and I ended up losing the bout. I was tentative and overthought it. In the third bout, I said “fuck it: I’m just going to jump on every opening that I see. I’m going to put the pressure on/raise the intensity/tempo, and take every opening”. I won 5-0. Now I wish it was always that simple, but the point remains about getting back to the basics of tempo/timing/feeling and TRUSTING myself and LETTING GO. As Bill would say, if you are thinking in a bout, you are already too late. Go with the feeling.
The challenge with this, though – is that when the going gets tough in a DE bout, or when things ARENT working (say you are down, and time is running out, or they have priority), just letting it flow is not enough. You have to have the presence of mind between touches to analytically diagnose what went wrong, adjust, and then get back into the flow during touches. That’s really hard. I think in those brief moments between touches, continuing just to focus on my breathing when things are flowing; and to allow myself ONE tactical thought for the next touch is all I should do. I will play around with thinking about tactics and not thinking about tactics at this camp.
At more of the tournament level, we discussed good performances of mine. I talked about how in the world cups, I’m just trying to survive, and there’s no space to overthink or be afraid of failure. I also talked about Pan Ams, when nothing felt on the line. Christian pointed out that my mindset in all of these was “fuck it, I’m just going to go for it.” Need to harness that mentality for the road ahead.
First, he is unwaveringly positive and happy, I wish I could bottle some of that up and keep it with me! We talked about my fencing and he described me as one of the top 5 fencers in the country and probably the #2 competitor (I won’t name who he said is first!). He said that when I’m really on, and confident and tough, and believing in myself no one can beat me.
Second, a good thing that Christian pointed out to me, and which should be obvious but wasn’t: is that I already have all the tools and ability to make good results because I’ve done it before. I haven’t forgotten anything, I’m physically strong and fast. Only thing missing is the mental aspect, the confidence, and the ability to stay in the moment one touch at a time. Okay, so maybe the power of positive thinking feels a little fake-y to me, but I think more of the KILLER instinct I can try to harness. La rage: but not an emotional/personal kind. Just a good blooded/ruthless kind of vibe. I still stand by 212 as my anthem for this.
Third, he drew my attention to more of the SPORTS side of it (confidence, swagger, touch, feel, trusting in abilities) – I think I’ve been getting lost in the GAME (too much tactic, too much strategy, too much video review). I think I might be actually having a case of too much effort, overthinking it, forcing it, something that a lot of sportswriters talk about, but that is hard to put a finger on. I think it relates to the whole self 1 /self 2….like too much verbal chatter about FIXING things (point first, hand/foot timing, foot tempo, action selection etc etc) and not enough kinesthetic/physical just letting it flow. Right now I have thought myself into a rut. So I need to FEEL or WILL or AMP myself out of it.
This last point was made clear to me earlier in the night when I did three3 5s with someone at practice, and on the 2nd bout, I tried to be REALLY selective, really careful, and only go for the definite single touches – and I ended up losing the bout. I was tentative and overthought it. In the third bout, I said “fuck it: I’m just going to jump on every opening that I see. I’m going to put the pressure on/raise the intensity/tempo, and take every opening”. I won 5-0. Now I wish it was always that simple, but the point remains about getting back to the basics of tempo/timing/feeling and TRUSTING myself and LETTING GO. As Bill would say, if you are thinking in a bout, you are already too late. Go with the feeling.
The challenge with this, though – is that when the going gets tough in a DE bout, or when things ARENT working (say you are down, and time is running out, or they have priority), just letting it flow is not enough. You have to have the presence of mind between touches to analytically diagnose what went wrong, adjust, and then get back into the flow during touches. That’s really hard. I think in those brief moments between touches, continuing just to focus on my breathing when things are flowing; and to allow myself ONE tactical thought for the next touch is all I should do. I will play around with thinking about tactics and not thinking about tactics at this camp.
At more of the tournament level, we discussed good performances of mine. I talked about how in the world cups, I’m just trying to survive, and there’s no space to overthink or be afraid of failure. I also talked about Pan Ams, when nothing felt on the line. Christian pointed out that my mindset in all of these was “fuck it, I’m just going to go for it.” Need to harness that mentality for the road ahead.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
STAY FIT
You have one aim: stay fit.
Don't worry about the future, don't worry about what you may or may not be able to do.
You have to be as fit as you can be, and as healthy as you can be.
That means enforced rest, disciplined workouts, focused training, and a healthy diet.
When other stuff creeps into your mind, purge it, and focus on being as strong as you can be, so you can deal with whatever comes next. When you have an injury, that means resting the parts that need rest, finding ways to keep the rest of yourself sharp and active. Focusing on cutting out junk and finding new ways to eat healthier can take up headspace that you're giving over to unneeded anxiety right now.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Saturday, January 14, 2012
LITANY AGAINST FEAR (from Dune)
The litany against fear is an incantation used by the Bene Gesserit throughout the series to focus their minds and calm themselves in times of peril. The litany is as follows:
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.[2]
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.[2]
PRAY!
Perhaps divine intervention and sexual abstinence (like those people who become 'virgins' again) could help you be more like Tim Tebow.
"According to a survey of 756 registered voters by Poll Position, 43.3 percent who said they were up-to-date about Tebow believed that divine intervention was partly responsible for his success." (today's NYT)
"According to a survey of 756 registered voters by Poll Position, 43.3 percent who said they were up-to-date about Tebow believed that divine intervention was partly responsible for his success." (today's NYT)
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
My pump up jam
I have decided that this is the key to victory at the next tournament. I listened to it on the train after practice today (3x). It made me smile involuntarily. This is my secret weapon:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3Jv9fNPjgk
Also, its even better once you know the lyrics, HA!
http://rapgenius.com/Azealia-banks-212-lyrics
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3Jv9fNPjgk
Also, its even better once you know the lyrics, HA!
http://rapgenius.com/Azealia-banks-212-lyrics
Monday, January 2, 2012
Hello 2012!
Ha - every good blogger knows the importance of the apology about why you weren't blogging recently!
I was remiss in posting while I was at a training camp in Portland, because my host family wouldn't let me use their wifi at their house, and there was no time during the day to post.
But I guess no time is a good thing because that meant I was training hard. We had double sessions each day, with a heavy focus on problem solving and tactics. This was not a physical or technical camp. It was really useful and helped me to see the strengths of my game in a whole new way. I also did some video review and took one lesson with one of the visiting coaches.
They had 5 French coaches and 2 Americans (although of those, 2 worked just with foil). It was a massive camp with like 80 people, probably more than they should have had but good nonetheless. I had a fun time, made some friends, and didn't have any of what I would characterize as "bad" practices, so that's a good thing.
I did not, however, fence the New Year's / hangover open because:
1. I went out dancing for 5.5 hours the night before and only slept 3 hours
2. I wanted to rest my knee, particularly with the NAC only 2 weeks away
3. It was my birthday and I didn't feel like it! (Though I ended up just being around the venue all day, not very exciting)
I'm in the PDX airport about to head home. All and all a great camp.
On the mental side, I finished reading Agassi's autobiography, have been sticking to my attempted-every day meditation or body scan (ends up being more like 4-5 times per week), and am now reading Chyogram Trungpa's book about being a warrior for my Dharma book club with Paul.
I was remiss in posting while I was at a training camp in Portland, because my host family wouldn't let me use their wifi at their house, and there was no time during the day to post.
But I guess no time is a good thing because that meant I was training hard. We had double sessions each day, with a heavy focus on problem solving and tactics. This was not a physical or technical camp. It was really useful and helped me to see the strengths of my game in a whole new way. I also did some video review and took one lesson with one of the visiting coaches.
They had 5 French coaches and 2 Americans (although of those, 2 worked just with foil). It was a massive camp with like 80 people, probably more than they should have had but good nonetheless. I had a fun time, made some friends, and didn't have any of what I would characterize as "bad" practices, so that's a good thing.
I did not, however, fence the New Year's / hangover open because:
1. I went out dancing for 5.5 hours the night before and only slept 3 hours
2. I wanted to rest my knee, particularly with the NAC only 2 weeks away
3. It was my birthday and I didn't feel like it! (Though I ended up just being around the venue all day, not very exciting)
I'm in the PDX airport about to head home. All and all a great camp.
On the mental side, I finished reading Agassi's autobiography, have been sticking to my attempted-every day meditation or body scan (ends up being more like 4-5 times per week), and am now reading Chyogram Trungpa's book about being a warrior for my Dharma book club with Paul.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
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